[private] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I think I really hurt someone. There's a fourth year Ravenclaw in the hospital wing because of me. They don't know it was me, of course, but it was and I feel awful and Vesta just keeps laughing, like this is somehow funny, but oh god, it's not, I can't believe I hurt someone.
They're going to get better. They will. I went to see, pretended I was just finding out for her sister or something, I don't even remember, I played the whole scared second year bit, but Madam Pomfrey says she'll get better. She also said the headmaster would catch whoever did that to her. Oh god, I hope not. I never meant to...well, ok I did, because I had to, but I didn't want to. There's a big difference. Vesta keeps looking at me funny, and I have to try and pretend like I don't care, when I do. Oh god.
Vesta wants me to hex someone during the next Quidditch match. It's a Ravenclaw match, they're playing Slytherin and she said it's time for me to prove my loyalty to Slytherin. She got really angry when I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it, so I told her I was only joking, of course I would do it. I don't know what to do...I don't want to hex anyone, but I've never had friends like I have in Slytherin. They're so nice to me and I don't want to mess that up, 'cause now everyone in Ravenclaw really hates me. Oh Merlin, what'll I do?
There's rumours around the Slytherin common room about Ted and Andy. Are they true? Are they really dating?
Vesta asked me to test one of our hexes on a first year yesterday. I did it. I had to, she would have been annoyed if I didn't, and I don't want to make her annoyed. Part of me liked it, because I got it right and it worked and I barely get anything right. But then I saw the first years face and I felt bad. Vesta just laughed, so I did too, but I remember being that person that was picked on. I don't think I'll test them on first years anymore. It's much more fun to get the older kids anyway.
Vesta taught me a new hex spell today. It was really cool, once I got the hang of it. She's so much nicer than the girls in Ravenclaw. She actually talks to me, not about me, and she's shown me a couple of..er...charms to use if they start picking on me again. Most of them just keep out of my way though. I prefer it that way. Bunch of losers.
Elmer helped me out with my potions essay too. It's done now, and he said he'd help me again if I needed it. He also said that I could sit at their table whenever I wanted. And Barty said I should sit there again, and Regulus said I could hang out with him sometime too. This it was real friendship is about. You're supposed to get that in your own house, but since my house seems to hate me because of what bloodline I have, then I guess I'll get it elsewhere. I so should have been in Slytherin.
I was asked to sit at the Slytherin table today. The girls in my house threw dirty looks at me, but really, what's new about that? I guess I've given them another reason to hate me, but the girls at the Slytherin table were much nicer. They talked about strange things, but it was nice to be included for once. They said I could sit there again tomorrow, if I wanted to. I think I will.
My sister came to see me! Imogen! She hasn't been at the house in ages and I've missed her and she came all this way to see me and make sure I was ok. I knew she still cared, even though...well, I just knew. And this proves it, see? My family is not all bad, no matter what anyone wants to say. Oh, and I'm better. I was one of the first to get the antidote, because I was one of the first to fall sick. It was almost worth it to see Imogen again.
If anyone hears any rumours about me or my family, could you please tell me? People keep giving me dirty looks and I don't know what I'm supposed to have done. I can't help what my parents think, but I'd rather know what you're all talking about when you mention them. *sigh*
I've not done my History of Magic essay that's due tomorrow and I can't find my favourite quill and there is so much homework, and no one will even talk to me anymore and I don't know why. *tears up* Is anyone else finding this place hard, or is it just me?
Oh no no no, damn, damn, damn. I can't find my potions homework and I spent hours on it. I know I left it out to dry, but I don't remember where. Professor Slughorn's going to kill me. *panicking* Has anyone seen it? Please?